8 YEARS BETWEEN PIC ON LEFT AND RIGHT!
*THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL STORY
The left photo was from my sweet sisters wedding in 2013 and the right photo was just last month.
Eight years ago, I was struggling with depression, an eating disorder, drinking more cocktails than I should, and trying anything I could to numb the pain I was in mentally and physically.
I was a waitress in a smoky bar and didn’t think I could do any better.
I was hurting from giving my trust to the wrong people.
Pained from many bad relationships.
I was ashamed for having an eating disorder.
I felt so guilty for hurting my family and friends.
I didn’t know how to get out of the miserable hole I had created.
I was numbing all the emotions because feeling was extremely painful.
Days turned to months, I didn’t keep in touch with my family or friends because, (How was I going to explain this!)
I lost my apartment.
I got my car repossessed.
Had to take the bus.
I couldn’t bare to look at myself and I couldn’t ask my family too either.
I hated myself.
My journey began some time after this photo. My sister posted photos of her wedding and I was shocked at what I looked like.
I had fallen into this vicious cycle of avoidance.
I avoided dealing with anything.
There was a lot of prayer.
My parents and brothers and sisters.
Probably friends and extended family.
I am grateful that something shifted in me.
Something said YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS!
I am grateful for friends that let me sleep on their couch
You know who you are
It has been a journey
Nothing changed overnight.
Slowly picking up the pieces of my shattered life
It began with making better choices!
And once I began making better choices, better opportunities began to avail themselves.
I had to make the first move, before God (the universe) stepped in
I continued eyes on what I wanted to be, making small goals for myself.
Lose 5 lbs.
Get a better job
Go to school.
Say positive affirmations.
Shift my mindset
I met my husband in this journey
Someone who loves me unconditionally
I found yoga in this place of un-loving myself
And learned how to unconditionally love me again
I am so grateful for this journey
I am grateful to my family beyond what words can express
It is now my turn to help others find their path!
People are hurting and don’t know how to make the changes they desperately need
I say all this to say :
anything is possible even when the odds seem insurmountable.
I want to encourage anyone who is struggling, that it is possible to get out of the rut.
If you need a shoulder to lean on, ear to listen, or some words of advice I AM HERE!
Send me a message I would love to connect with you!